Last night, there was a monster under my bed. Actually, it was a large centipede.
(I know not all of my followers have house centipedes in their region. Please, I encourage you, take the time to Google them. Now imagine one is under your bed.)
The centipede had been on the ceiling, but dropped to the floor, raced across the room (to the amusement of the cat, who, by the way, is FIRED from bug-catching duties), and ultimately hid under my bed. We have boxes and junk under the bed. There was no way we'd find it.
So I slept on the couch last night. And by slept, I mean tossed and turned and thought about centipedes.
Prior to discovering the monster that scuttled under my bed, I'd been dealing with another fear of mine: the fear of moving forward with my manuscript that's now ready to submit to agents or publishers. (I'm still enchanted by the idea of [legitimate] small presses - and I'm even flirting with the idea of self-publishing. I've always rooted for the little guy. So... I haven't decided which path I'm taking.)
It's all the fears you'd expect. Fear of rejection. Fear of making it, but my manuscript is actually NOT good enough, so I regret submitting it. Fear of wishing I'd taken another publishing route, whichever ones I don't take.
With the help of one of my CPs, (the brilliant and always encouraging Linda Jackson), I'm gathering the courage to submit my manuscript. And the courage to believe that after all the hard work I put into it, it might be somewhat good. But just like my fear of centipedes, it's a gradual process.
Well, I might never be over my fear of centipedes. But ranting about them in this blog post helps diffuse the anxiety, at the very least.
Writers, what are your fears? Do you have fears related to submitting? Receiving reviews? Exchanging critiques?
Anyone else terrified of bugs with a hundred legs?
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5 comments:
Centipedes. Ugh. I hate those things. I'm hoping to have my edits all done by August so I can start resubmitting by then. Scary concept ... :)
I have a lot of fears about this whole writing process. Some days I think I'm just a great big wimp :)
But I'm aiming to self pub later on this year (with much prodding and pushing from my CPs) - hope I have the courage mustered by then :)
Shelley, how kind of you to mention me in your post!
Querying is scary, and so are centipedes. I loathe anything with many legs or that creeps/slithers on the ground. I would have tossed all night on the sofa too if I had been in your shoes!
UGH! I'm not a fan of the idea of having a monster sized centipede in the house, either. At all.
As for writing fears, I'm dreading my first bad review. So far, I've only gotten a single review-on-a-blog... but it was a GOOD one. But none of us can please everyone, so getting a stinker review is pretty much inevitable.
I feel your fear, Shelley. Just this morning I saw one in our trash can. I screech the entire time I'm squishing it with a very wasteful-but-necessary ball of toilet paper. Our apartment is above the garage/maintenance room so we get house centipedes SO BAD from April to October. Sometimes one a day; recently THREE in one night. I'm crazy when it comes to killing them. My husband and I move the furniture to get it if it tries hiding because the thought of it scurrying around is worse than finding it and getting it. I always make sure to get the small ones, too, because if you don't they'll turn into the dinosaur-like ones. Yikes!!
Actually, they're good bugs. They eat all kinds of other bugs you don't want in your carpets and bathrooms. But I still kill it as soon as I see it!!
Happy reading and writing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines
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